MY DIARY:LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (96)

9.7.2014
Well,I guess it is confirmed that Y doesn't have feelings for me...I knew it all along,somehow...but what happened last night is what strengthen it...You see,last night at our whatsapp group,Y asked one of my girl classmate about this guy(I think it's the same guy at the Dean's List Award) and she somehow hoping that she is dating that guy(kinda),though it was not straight forward but you can tell if you read it..I know that you all must be thinking that I'm sad or jealous...but the truth is,I'm not..I know you think I'm lying but I'm not lying...I really am not sad or jealous...maybe because I'm sensing it for a long time and I am right...but it's ok,I know that my Okay is still out there somewhere... :) I'm going home tomorrow! Yeay! Though I am happy to go home tomorrow,there is something that wanna share with you guys,I'm feeling the way that I often feels,to be on my own,not being talkative because I just realize(again) that I'm being that sissy lala(again)..I know that A told me the other day that I should just be myself and not to care what other people think and if I wanna change,I can try but don't put pressure on myself..but I don't know,I just feel that way...but we'll see,because I said that I wanna do it,a couple of times before but nothing happen...so I guess we'll just have to see..Anyway,I can't wait to go home! :D

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THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY:LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (95)

8.7.2014
Sometimes,I feel like I'm drifting away from the people I care about(I don't mean K or Y or any of my college friends but certain people) except my family and my best friends..It's kinda sad when thinking about it but now that I realize it,I will try to get close again..be like what we were before I started my college...I texted with A last night,we talked for a while,gave each other advices about our romantic life(I don't know if I told you guys but A also have a romantic life)..and finally,he also agrees that it's better for me to just forget about Y,for she might not be for me..I really glad that I have a best friend like A and S...A is really good at giving advices,just so you know... :)

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THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY:LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (94)

7.7.2014
After thinking about it over the weekend,I finally made a decision to go to class by a taxi on my own,so that I could go to college whenever I want.You see,what exactly happened that cause me to make this decision,is because of what one of my housemate/classmate said the last week..the situation is that we didn't go to one class that day and he asked me politely "Aren't you going to the class?" And I said "No,because non of you are going" and this what hits me,he finally said "Well,you didn't care about it before(as in when we were in semester 1 and 2)"..that is what made me realize that I've changed a lot,though some of it are a good thing but others are not that good...so,I've decided that I should change that,be the same person I was a year ago..but maybe not entirely,just the negative part...I know if I told them that I'm going to class by a cab,they would be nagging on me but I have to do whats best for me...But that was my plan at first..the thing is,suddenly,this week,my housemate/classmate(the same guy as the above) brought his car to college and I ride with him instead of my other friend(the one I usually ride with) and today,we weren't tardy..so,I've changed my plan and I will see how this goes,if somehow we're still tardy or things get complicated,I will go back to my first plan...and maybe,there's a huge possibilities that I will take a cab because I decided on the first plan was not only because I don't wanna be late,but also,I don't wanna depend on other people(like I used to be in my first and second semester) and be a burden for them (though they never said anything)...so,we'll see tomorrow...

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THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY:LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (93)

3.7.2014
I really feel like I wanna do a Twitcam...because when I write,I can't really express what I feel and I'm worry that you might misunderstand or something...so,if I could talk to you all,it's easier to explain stuff and make you understand...but I won't do it so often(unless you want me to..haha) and we'll see if I could have a free time and if my internet is working well...

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THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY:LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (92)

2.7.2014
I'm at my new house since yesterday..sadly...but I'll be back home on Friday afternoon...I really can't wait...So far my forth semester is ok...but it's a long way to go,so anything could happen...but hopefully nothing bad will happen...I have to tell you guys something..I've been thinking,I feel like I don't have feelings for Y anymore...or maybe I wasn't the whole time...I really don't know..but I kinda feel like I don't have feelings for her like I thought I was...maybe because of what she said the other day(I'm not gonna tell you what she said...but it's not cursing)...It was kinda like a deal breaker(though I don't know if I have any or if it counts as a deal breaker)..but anyhow,I think I'm gonna keep my distance from her and see if she cares(I think I've done this before but it didn't go well,I think) and see if I would miss her or something...

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THANKS,
ZAC