Friday, September 28, 2012

MY DIARY (147)

My sister told me about this girl who don't have a muscle on her face(for real),so she doesn't have any expression,she couldn't frown or smile or sad,right??So,it makes me think how lucky I am to being able to smile and everything,I'm very grateful for it...and I also think about those people who decide to be grumpy all the time or refuse to be happy or laughing...I mean,God gave you a chance to have any expression you want and you decide on being grumpy??frowning all the time??being expressionless??why???'s really stupid,right??...I don't think I'm able to understand them...


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

MY DIARY (146)


I was kinda pisted off this morning because I was supposed to watch ‘Stand By Me’ and I woke up at 6 a.m. for it but there were some problem with the cable station,so that movie was cancelled..WTH!!!!!....I don’t know why but problem are kinda scared to say hi to me because they said I look fierce or kinda snob... :O...yeah,maybe I’m not too friendly but once you know me,you’ll see how I really am,though I can’t really classified my characteristic...maybe I’ll ask A and S...

Have you ever feel that you’re interested on something that you never know about before but then you realize that you had a lot of chances to see it but maybe at that time you just didn’t know or not perceive it and now you found out you might not have that chances again???..I don’t know exactly what feeling is it,maybe a mixture of frustration and anger and sadness??maybe...but whatever it is,it sure make you feel like you have a time machine so you could turn back time and take every opportunity you have...but you couldn’t and it sucks...all we can do is hope that we might get another chance somehow...


Monday, September 24, 2012

MY DIARY (145)

I'm gonna tell you all something.I'm actually not a nice person as some people think I am..because sometimes I like to cursed and I did it quite a lot of times..I've said F*** to people but only when they pisted me,there you go.I'm not so nice now,am I??


Sunday, September 23, 2012

MY DIARY (144)

I told my sisters a small part of my sadness because I couldn't bare the feeling on my own...but I didn't told them the whole thing,I didn't tell them the secret,I didn't even said that I'm sad...but I think they almost figure it out,hopefully they won't find out because sometimes they like to make of something,especially if they don't know how serious it is for me...I feel better this morning but kinda regret telling my sisters because they kinda almost figure out about my secret... :O

I feel a lot happy today,thank God...I had fun at home,though I didn't do much thing.. :)..I hope everything will be better tomorrow and the days to come... :)


Friday, September 21, 2012

MY DIARY (143)

I'm in a deep sorrow most the time today,"thanks" to Pan's Labyrinth's Lullaby...Remember that I said I have a secret?Actually,I'm not planning on telling anyone and I'm not gonna write it here,I just want to tell you the reason why I'm feeling sad today.The secret that I'm keeping now is actually a happy one but there's also a sad part and I knew about it and I knew that something will bring up that part,I just didn't know it would be today,this quick...I'm so sorry for not telling you the secret because I can't and I don't wanna write about the sad part because I'm afraid I might cry and couldn't stop.I'm writing this because I want to share how I feel right now because the feeling is too strong for me...I hope you all understand...and don't worry,I'll find a way to be happy again,though maybe it might take sometimes...




Thursday, September 20, 2012

MY DIARY (142)

I got a phone call from A late last night.We'd talked for a while but mostly I do the talking..LOL..but I was kinda mumbling a few times,I don't know why but I mumble lately,it's weird...I don't know if I wrote about this before but I'm just gonna write it again.Sometimes I want to be a different person,you know,sometimes I wanna be the player or the class clown or the grumpy or the mysterious guy but I couldn't do that because people will think I'm I guess maybe that's why I feel like I wanna be an actor sometimes...haha what a stupid thing to think about...

It's been about 2 weeks I become unemployed but the thing is,I don't really feel any different...yeah I don't have to go to work but I don't feel any different,as if I'm still working and I don't know why....I was watching High School Musical 3 when suddenly there's no electricity.I can't believe that that movie was almost 4 years ago and a lot of things has happened since that,like I had a job,I am not who I was,though I hope and still trying,Vanessa and Zac broke up and I met a few people that helped me to improve myself somehow.I can still remember how excited I was to tell A and S the day after I watch High School Musical 3 in was a good time.In the movie,Gabriella said "I always do the right thing,maybe I wanna be a little crazy this time," but what I always tell to myself is "I want always to do the right thing but somehow,I just can't,"...funny,right???


Tuesday, September 18, 2012



MY DIARY (141)

I'm sorry for not writing or update my blog for a few days.There aren't so much things happened,just that I went for a shopping last week,went to my cousins' open houses on the weekend,did some chores everyday and online...There's something I wanna tell you all.I don't know if I told you before.It's about secrets.A secret,whether it's a good thing or a bad thing,will slowly change yourself because when you decide to not tell anyone about something,you will avoid confrontation and then you start to isolate yourself,you don't hang around with people and  you don't talk so much and finally,you become a different people,you might be a grumpy person too.The worst thing is when the secret is something that makes you happy but you couldn't talk to anyone because you scared they wouldn't understand or wouldn't agree with it...I'm telling this not because I want you to not have a secret,I'm just telling you the risk and consequences of it...BTW,I just want to say that I'm fine,done worry..I'm happy actually....


Thursday, September 13, 2012

MY DIARY (140)

I was quite busy this morning with chores but I was free after that,so I online for almost the whole day.. :)...I got an offer from this college to further my studies.It is kinda ok but the intake is on October but I don't know when exactly,anyway,it's a bit too soon..but I'm still considering it...The important thing is,I feel happy today..why??..shhh,it's a secret...LOL.. *showing my teeth*


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

MY DIARY (139)

I'm thinking about something.I'm pretty sure a lot people think about it too.You see,we like a certain quotes that certain person that we like said and sometimes we wish we could find that someone who said the same quotes as that person...but the question is,would we like it?Would we be the happiest person if we did found someone who said the same quotes as that person?What if that someone doesn't have the criteria or feature like that person but said the same quotes as that person??...That's what I'm thinking right now and I'm searching for the answer because I'm not sure myself....BTW,I'm gonna fill my schedule with making the house model and editing my novel...


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

MY DIARY (138)

I'm officially not working at my shop anymore..yea!!!!...I was busy yesterday because I went hang out by myself and I went to my brother's open house.. :)...I don't know what to say,so I guess that's all for now...


Saturday, September 8, 2012

MY DIARY (137)

Yesterday night,I accidentally squeaked at my dad because I was so pist-off but I regret it so badly,though I haven't apologize..LOL..I never done it to my dad before and I don't even remember if I ever did that to any of my family members...I think I will apologize to my dad,though I know he didn't notice it yesterday....I already apologize to my dad.It was a bit awkward and I was right,he didn't notice it...Though I'm gonna be working here for about 3 days,baldy still pist me off,maybe because I accidentally pist him off but it was an honest mistake.What he did was,he asked me to find a screw driver that he lost it.Actually it was missing since yesterday and I did help him look for it yesterday and today,he asked me to do it again.I couldn't find it and he asked me to do something else...what an asshole...

I was so busy yesterday because I have to start typing again and surprisingly,the new worker start working yesterday I have to teach her everything I know and I have taught her.She's ok,though a bit slow and she type the computer freaking slow...The thing is,I haven't finish typing and yesterday,I didn't have time to write or read 'Inheritance',so my everyday routine has changed.. :(...Today,I didn't go to work because I have "fever"..LOL..and I will M.C. tomorrow too...LOL..The sad thing is,I thought my last day would be this Sunday and I will relax the whole day but well,sometimes things aren't working as plan...Whatever it is,I'm happy because I don't have to see baldy's face anymore...LOL..


Thursday, September 6, 2012

MY DIARY (136)

I have this feelings,I don't really know what it is,either sad,happy,anger,excited,nervous or all at once but I know what's the cause and I'm gonna keep it to myself,it'll be my own little secret..even if I tell you guys,you wouldn't understand..but the problem is,the feelings make me wanna throw's strange...Luckily,after my break,I don't have the feelings anymore,maybe because I don't think about it so much...



I've been thinking lately about adding one more person into our group(me,A and S)...A and S have said about it before but at that time,I didn't really think about it because of the reason they gave...but now I think we should.The reason is kinda's because I want it.The thing is,there are 3 of us,though I always said that they're my best friends,I don't really remember if they have said the same thing about me...maybe they have and I just forgot and now I kinda start to believe what people said,that we can only have 1 best friend.When I was in high school,I feel like I'm close to S but then,I feel like I'm closer to A because he helped me a lot and S is kinda far away but sometimes I feel like A and S are closer than I am with any of them because they have a few things in common,I had the same thing too but as time goes by,I just don't really interested anymore...So,that's why I think we should have a 4th member,someone that habe something in common with me..I know it's hard,impossible maybe but I hope we could find him or he find us...I know A sometimes view my blog and he might be pist-off when he read this.So,if you do read this A,I am really sorry if you're mad but I don't know to whom am I suppose to share what I feel,I can't straight away talk to you,that'll be awkward and I can't tell my family,they might think I'm being ridiculous or maybe not but I don't wanna take a risk...once again,sorry A and S but it's the truth...


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

MY DIARY (135)

I had fun yesterday,online for almost the entire day..LOL...I'm not so sure if tomorrow would be my last day because since the Indian girl,I haven't seen other people apply for it.....I don't know if it happened when I wasn't around but I doubt that...maybe I'll try ask baldy..He haven't ask me to key-in yet...hopefully he won't...wish me luck...Ok,it's official,I will stay for the rest of the week because there's isn't any new replacement....There's this Malay(I think) woman came and apply for the vacancy.She looks ok but I don't know whether baldy want to hire her or not...hopefully yes..LOL...


Monday, September 3, 2012

MY DIARY (134)

Today is our Independence Day,so,HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO MALAYSIA!!!!! and my family are preparing for our open house but this time for my relatives and my sisters' friends but unfortunately I'm at work all of my family is on holiday because of Independence Day.."great"..BTW,today was suppose to be my last day but I gave the resignation letter 5 days late,so I have to stay until 5th of September and I told baldy that if he couldn't find my replacement,I'll stay until 14th of September...One other thing,the house model is still in a working progress..LOL..

The open house went well yesterday...I watched the movie 'Stand By Me' this morning.I've seen it a couple of times before but this morning when I watched it,I just realize that neither one of us(me and my best friends)are like Chris,a character played by River Phoenix.He's brave,quite mature,kind to his friends and he protect his friends.Non of us have that in on person,especially being able to protect others,though A was like a big brother because of his appearance(sorry A),he's friendly and he's the one who drive us if we're going out but still,I haven't seen him protecting us and S,I don't think he could.Maybe because we haven't face a situation where we have to protect each other,though,I don't know if A and S remember this but when we were in high school,sometimes I did try to protect them,if someone said something bad at them,I will say something back and that's why I feel like I should be the one like Chris but the problem is,I couldn't,I'm not brave or strong enough...but I hope,I really hope that if circumstances force me to do it(hopefully not),I could do it...

These past few days,I've been listening to sad songs and reading sad quotes...I don't know why,maybe because I don't want to feel happy at work(you know why)...but I'm happy at home,though sometimes I tried to be happy,not because of my family but just I don't feel happy's weird,right??....Me and A was suppose to be going out tonight but I haven't got a confirmation from A....Me and A are confirmed to hang out tonight...Uh-oh,I think I will habe to key-in the customers' records because baldy asked me to arrange the new records in alphabetical order.. :O