Monday, May 28, 2012


I'm a bit worry right now,first it's because the spectacles is still here.. :O..,second,I feel kinda happy today(I don't know why).Remember that I said I don't want to be myself and be happy because something bad might happen,so that's why I'm worry at this moment.I'm afraid he'll come and collect his spectacles today(lets hope not)then,I'm doomed...but I'm not showing my happiness,instead I"m making a serious face... :).Yesterday,when I just arrived home,G called me,I didn't know it was her at first because she's not using her own number.So I answered the phone and suddenly she asked where I am,so I said I just arrived home and she said she needs a favor,she wants me to buy her a credit top up,so I said I couldn't help her because I just arrived and I rode a car home,so I can't ask my sister to go out again just to buy the credit and I told er I could give her some credit from my phone but she refused because she needs a RM5 credit.Finally I said if that so,I couldn't help her,then she hung up.After that,I text her and asked why she needs that much of credit,who is she wants to know what she said???she said it was for her's crazy,right???So I said to her,why didn't she ask her brother,she replied he's useless and his bike is broken and she said "Can you help me or not?because I don't want to talk about it anymore",I said I can't and I'm sorry,I asked her to tell her mother that I was sorry,then she replied "Ok"'s ridiculous,right??I mean,if you're her mother,would you ask your daughter's friend,that you never even meet,to buy you a phone credit??It's nonsense...I think it's time for me to stay away from her because I feel like she's just using me,like I'm her tool(I told you guys before)and her rebound guy because a couple of days ago,she text me and said that she miss her ex,or something,so I gave her advises and suddenly she called me honey,sweet heart but I didn't say any of that to her back,I just told her that it's funny and not very comfortable for me as a friend(but I said it in a nice way)and I'm not gonna change that because I care about her but I don't love her and I don't think her boyfriend and I'm sure she feels the same...but now,I don't know if I could be her friend anymore because I think she feels like I'm her tool and her rebound guy.Ok,I maybe I said I'll try to help her somehow but I said I'll try,I didn't say I will..So,I have to end this...I text with A just now and I told her about my problem.We both have the same idea,which is I should call her and solve this thing.I think I'll call her tonight..I hope everything will be ok..I always told myself that I don't want any drama after high school because I'm tired of that but there it is right now.. "Great"

I didn't call G yesterday because I didn't get any privacy,my sister came in to my room and there was a lot of thing that I have to,I didn't call her...but hopefully I could do it tonight..wish me luck!..Today,I had an argument with my sister again(the same person as in 'My Diary 28').This time we argued about American Idol 11,she said Phillip Phillip doesn't deserve to win but I said he does.She said he won because of people sympathy about his operation.She is so whatever,she is so lame...LOL..I think she's really pist-off with me...hahahah...My sister talked to me when I had my break and I talked to her back...Tonight,I'm definitely going to call her...

I called G yesterday,it was a bit strange because I was nervous( I guess)but I got to tell her what I wanted to say.Her explanation was shocking,I was surprise myself...she said I'm her love one :O and she's sorry for what she did,she didn't realize it before..She said she does like me before but she had a few guy friends,so she decided to forget how she feels and she was afraid to be honest to me about her feelings...I was speechless,I didn't know what to say but then I told her that we should meet and after that,we'll see what happen..and she agreed but we haven't decide when...The problem is,I'm not really excited but I feel rather strange...A said maybe because it's my first date,so that's why I feel that way...I don't really know...A helped me a lot about thank you so much A!...I'm not in a very good mood because in 2 weeks,S will be going back to Penang and in 3 weeks A would be going to Pahang and I don't know when will we meet again... :(...You know what,I've decided that I'm not gonna think about the meet with G and about my best friends going away..I'm just gonna have fun and be happy like before... :)...Hopefully nothing bad will happen..I think I know why I don't feel excited about going out with G,maybe it's because of the way she acted,you know,about all the problems that I have with her before...maybe that's the reason I don't feel happy...I'm not gonna let that ruin my off day tomorrow.I'm just gonna be happy and forget about it.I hope I could online tonight... :)


Friday, May 25, 2012


I'm going to buy a guitar next month! :)... I'm alone at work right now and I started working half and hour early because baldy have something to do,which is I don't even know(like always)...And now he's back....I just remember something,today would be the 8 months and 3 days anniversary for 'My Diary'...time flies really quick,right???I still remember the first time write 'My Diary',I was talking about weather...LOL..I wrote about a lot of things that happened on my everyday life and it is quite a lot,though some are pretty dull...LOL..I still can't believe it's already 8 months..WOW!


Thursday, May 24, 2012


Yesterday I wrote on my Facebook status that I already give up hoping but then I deleted it because I realized that it's not true,I'm still hope for something sometimes but I have to say that I do give up hop eon a few people,for example,I give up hoping that they would reply my text or something but I never give up hope on God,I'm hoping for the best,hoping on something good to happen...sometimes I'm hoping on something impossible...but I still hope...maybe because I still have faith,even though I didn't realize it sometimes but luckily I got some help to remind me about it... :) I have something to tell you all...this might sound crazy but sometimes I feel like I wanna slap my face because sometimes I kinda forget how ugly I am,so I acted like I'm one of the good looking guy...kinda pathetic,right??When I realize that I acted that way,I would be so embarass because it's so stupid to behave like a handsome guy when in fact I'm not and never will... :( This is on of the things that I give up hope on,I'm trying to look better but I know it won't work,so I give up hoping that I will be a better looking guy....


Tuesday, May 22, 2012


I had fun yesterday,woke up at 6.40a.m. and made breakfast,chocolate chip pancakes! and it was delicious.Then,I was online for a few hours,listening to 'Arctic Monkeys',I can't believe did that but their songs was amazing,most of it.Thank you so much for those who told me about them.. :) I took a nap yesterday afternoon and online again..LOL.. Now I'm at work :( but I have a good news,August would be the last month I'm working here,which is another 3 months and then I'm out of here! :)..I already counted and found out that I have 101 days before my last day here,so I decided to make a countdown until the 31st of August.. :) I'm gonna write it next to the date of today...


Monday, May 21, 2012


I heard the song 'Graduation' by Vitamin C just now and suddenly I thought about my high school,especially on my senior year,it was amazing,though I wish I would someday forget a few incident but most of it was awesome because I was like really had fun and enjoy myself.I even changed my hair style..LOL..You know what,when I look back all the thing that happened to me in high school,it's almost like a movie,well maybe not exactly the same but kinda because I have to best friends,I'm kinda happy-go-lucky guy and I suddenly been accused of trying to steal someone's girlfriend..see,kinda like a movie,right???..When I was 17,I always think that my life was pretty boring,but actually,now I realize that I had a normal childhood and I also have a movie-like teenage life..LOL..pretty awesome,right???


Saturday, May 19, 2012


Back to work...I already gave baldy my aunt's death certificate for prove but baldy don't look mad or pist off about what happened.So,I guess problem solved...but there's another coming because the spectacles is still here,I don't know when he'll pick it up but I hope another week or two,after everything's cool down and of course when I'm not here......I've watched a tv movie title 'Neverland',it's a 2 part movie,I watched it last Thursday actually.It was amazing,though the affect is not so great because it's a low budget movie but all and all,it's quite awesome.Another new movie that I watched was 'A Cinderella Story:Once Upon A Song',it was great.I watched it on Sunday,the last day I was in Cameron Highlands.The movie was great because it's musical(the songs was awesome)and it also has a few funny parts.So it's kinda amazing....


Thursday, May 17, 2012


Today I'll be reviewing about...well,you guys know what it is,right?? "The Avengers" of course.All I can say is that movie is AWESOME!!!...A said that it is the most amazing movie he ever watched...This story is great because it has amazing cast like Chris Hemsworth,Robert Downey Jr.,Chris Evans,Mark Ruffalo,Scarlett Johansson,Jeremy Renner,Samuel L. Jackson,Cobie Smulders,Tom Hiddleton and some others.Every characters has an amazing part.The action scenes was breathtaking.I like all 4 heroes but I kinda like the character 'Hawkeye' played by Jeremy Renner because he's just an average person, I mean he has no special powers,just that he's very archery and he's very alert about the it's kinda awesome.The affect was great.So,I can say that this movie is worth to watch and I feel like watching it again.. :)


I didn't go to work today because I have "fever" LOL but actually I'm just feeling tired because I cam back home late yesterday,hang out with A & S,we watched a movie,which is 'The Avengers'! Finally I got a chance to watch the movie! :)...So,I'm just staying home,watching tv and online.

I'm a work right now,as usual,I'm alone and start work an hour early...BTW,I have to act as if I'm recovering from a fever...LOL..Remember that I told you guys that I visited my aunt at the hospital(in My Diary 73),well she got cancer and it was getting worst and just now my sister called me and told me that my aunt just died...but I don't know if I could go to the funeral or not,depends on baldy's decision...we just have to wait and see....At first,he's(baldy) ok with the idea of me got off work early but then,he didn't let me take a day off tomorrow to go to Perak for my aunt's funeral...what an ass!..After I talked to my sister and make a decision to take my day off even if it means it's an unpaid leave,I text baldy and he said 'ok,just go'...I don't if he's mad or not..but I don't care because this is my father's young sister's funeral,so I have to be there...

We didn't make it to the funeral and we have to go to early and didn't go to the ceremony because they'll want to do tonight,and I have to go to work tomorrow,so as my sisters,so we came home early....even though we didn't go to the ceremony but at least we tried our best to be there....And now I'm at home...I hope she'll rest in peace....I don't know what would happen tomorrow between me and baldy...if he wants to fire me or anything,I don't really care...


Sunday, May 13, 2012


I haven't told you guys this but G and I texted each other sometimes,but mostly she started it...She asked me about my application last Tuesday and I told her I didn't get in,so I asked the same question and she also didn't get in but she didn't send an appeal like I did...when I asked her why,she said she don't want to talk about it....I respect that,so I didn't ask her that question again,even though I would like to know why because it's kinda ridiculous for not trying to send an appeal....maybe she's giving up...I don't know but if I'm at her place,with a good grade like her,I would try to apply at a lot of colleges or university that have what I want...sometimes I feel like she's the one who makes her life complicated....pretty sad,right??but it's her life,so she can do whatever she long as she didn't drag me with her in her complicated life...LOL

I could sense that today,the customer will come and collect his spectacles because I heard baldy mentioned his name(I think) on the phone while he was calling someone...Argh!!!!I'm definitely dead!Lets hope he'll collect it when I'm not here...Earlier today,A said something about something that makes me realize who I become now..a different person...a better person...I'm not saying I hate who I was but I like who I am more..because even though I'm alone and not in a relationship,I'm happier,more confident,braver(I think).I know you guys might think I'm bluffing but I'm not,it's true...I am becoming better...So,to those who pushed me away,ignoring me because I'm not the same level as they are,I would like to say..thank you...sincerely..thank you because if you didn't do what you did,I wouldn't be who I am and I wouldn't find people who give me something that I never thought I had,and that is courage...if not,I think I would still be the same lame guy,who have to pretend to be someone else just to be accepted by,I'm happier,I'm being myself and thank you for those who pushed me away,thank you for those who helped me become better and thank you to my best friends for supporting me.... :)


Friday, May 11, 2012


I'm still worry(you know why)...I really hope nothing bad will happen....Lately,I've been busy writing my novel,so I don't really have time to read 'To Kill A Mocking Bird'......but I did read a few pages today...



Since that Mother's Day is around the corner,I just realize that I never tell you all about my mother,we used to call her 'Mama'.Well,my mama,she died when I was 5,she got cancer.Actually,I don't really remember her..I remember her face from a picture but I don't remember her voice,her laugh,the way she talk,her cooking and some other thing....but I do remember one thing,I'm not so sure when but I remember she fed me porridge.She was sitting on the floor,in front of the bedroom door and I sat in front of her and my sister said that her cooking was delicious,she could be firm sometimes,she was patience,she loved us all and took care of us very well...I don't really know what else to say about my mother.I just thought you all should know that I don't have a mother anymore(I don't want you guys to make a speculation about why I never said anything about my mother before)and since that Mother's Day is coming... :)...The customer haven't collect his spectacles yet... :O ...I'm so worry right now but I hope everything will be fine....


Wednesday, May 9, 2012


Back to work...I still feel tired maybe because I didn't get enough rest.Time moves pretty fast yesterday...I'm a bit worry because I don't know whether the customer already took his spectacles or not.If he did,then it's kinda a good thing because baldy haven't said anything about it but if he didn't,then that's a big problem...I really hope he did take it already....OMG!!!He haven't take it!!!!I'm so dead...Hopefully he'll take it when I'm not here...Argh!!!!!....I stopped reading 'Mansfield Park',I didn't even finish it yet but maybe someday.Since last week,I started reading 'To Kill A Mocking Bird' by Harper Lee again and I read it today.You know what,since I finished reading 'Inheritance' and 'The Secret:The Magic',I never went to a bookstore anymore.I didn't do it purpose,maybe it's just a coincidence or maybe......I don't know...but I will buy a new day...because it's kinda hard to start reading a new book after spending a lot of time reading a series book....I have a bad news,I didn't get accepted to any university.I checked my application yesterday...but I already sent my appeal...I really hope I get it this time....but if not,I will find another college or anything to continue my studies....

I'm alone at work and the spectacles isn't collected yet... :O...Baldy is back....I spent my day writing for my novel...


Monday, May 7, 2012


Tomorrow is the big day..I haven't start packing my bags..."amazing",right??...OMG!!the customer haven't take his spectacles!!!Argh!!!!!hopefully he collect it tomorrow :P...I have to wait for another hour and a half to get off work... :O I wish the time moves faster because the spectacles is not been collected yet...Today,I've been very aware for the customer because I don't know how exactly he looks like but I know he's Indian.So,every times an Indian walked by or park   a car,I would be very nervous,my hands will start sweating....I really hope that h would collect it tomorrow and the time moves faster right now...I'm at home at last.. :)..Packing bags for tomorrow's vacation!!!...

Woke up at 6 a.m...Getting ready to go to Cameron Highlands.. :)..Arrived at our apartment at about 3 p.m. because it was jammed crazily...Right after our meal,we walked around the places,took a few pictures and headed back to our apartment...At night,we went to the night market about 5 km from where we stay..but the jammed was horrible...Had fun buying souvenirs for A and S and myself..hahahaha...Then,we headed back and sleep.. :)..BTW,this is place is cold especially at night...but for me,it's not too cold... :P

Woke up at 6...Took a bath with warm water(if not,I would die freezing)..Walked around our apartment with my sister and my nephew...There was a dog and he(I think)barked at us...After we took our breakfast,we went to the tea farm.The route to the place was creepy because it's small and on a hill...imagine that(I'm not gonna go there again)..but the farm was amazing,it's so pretty and windy...I drank Camomile tea(my first time)with strawberry cake(freaking delicious).Then,we went to the strawberry farm,well it's not really a farm because we can't pluck it our self (wrong place)...We(me and my family)ate strawberry ice-cream there,so great(the ice-cream)...After that,we bought some souvenirs again..Then finally,we headed home...but before that,we bought a lot of chocolate at a factory(I think)..Awesome!!!!..Then,we headed straight home...We arrived at about 10 pm...This is the most awesome vacation ever!!!!!

Here are some pictures...


Thursday, May 3, 2012


I did some shopping yesterday with my sisters.It was fun,it makes me happy a bit....I decided that I should go to the  vacation.I'll go and hope for the best(hope that I wouldn't look bad).I want to say thank you to my family,for saying I look great with my new hair and thank you to my best friends,A and S,for their advises to help me accept my new look.I love you guys so much and  I really appreciate what you did for me... :) ...OMG!!I'm so freaking out right now!! see,baldy asked me to clean a glasses.So I did but the problem is,it has a crack on the lens and it's not my fault.It was there in the first place.At first I thought it's just a stain but when I started cleaning it,the stain didn't go away.So I touched it with my finger and I found out that it was a crack.I thought about telling baldy but obviously he would be mad and blame me for it(like before)so I decided to act like nothing's happen...but then it will be reveal when the customer come and collect it..I'm so nervous right now.At this moment that I wish I already at Cameron Highlands...but I think baldy knew that something wrong because his the one who handed it to me...but he didn't say anything because he doesn't want to take the blame.....



It's been sunny or the past few days but today it's start  to rain,not so heavily but there's thunder....Maybe it's just a coincidence but since I cut my hair and I'm not in a good mood,it started raining..weird,right??...BTW,I'm alone at work right now ans I started working an hour early because baldy have something to do...and now it rains heavily...I've been thinking about not going to the vacation..but I haven't told anyone yet.I know it's crazy but what's the point of going for a holiday and I'm not happy???I could not to any pictures but then how am I suppose to remember the moment??Besides,I might save a few money if I didn't go,right??Because right now,I really feel frustrated,mad and sad about what happened.All my plan on the way I suppose to look is crushed...but I'm still considering it,I might go or I might not..we'll see....


Wednesday, May 2, 2012


I didn't go to the dentist nor go for a jog yesterday.I visited my aunt in the hospital,did some shopping and I CUT MY HAIR!I will post the picture here.I actually posted it on my Facebook(@Zac Shur'tugal Nazrin) and my Twitter (@zacrin)...Honestly,I look horrible.I was so stupid for letting the hair stylist cut it so short.I really,really regret it...Argh!!!!!!!..My family said I look nice but I know they're just being nice.I totally hate it and I'm so mad at myself for not saying anything to the hair stylist,despite that he didn't even discuss it with me on how to cut my hair..Argh!!!!!!...I'm so not in a good mood right now and I'm not in the mood to go to Cameron Highlands.. :(..I feel a bit tired because I only slept for about 7 hours because I watched the EPL game(Manchester United vs Manchester City)which Manchester United lose this morning...what a bummer....It looks like it's gonna rain heavily I think.....Ops,my mistake,it's not gonna rain...I texted S and A to ask for their opinion about my hair.They both said I look good...but I still feel frustrated because I already imagine how I'm suppose to look.... :(
My new hair....I look worst,right??