MY DIARY: LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (10)

18.4.2013
OMG!This week is officially become a horrible week.I said that because,first,I lost my pencil case together with my USB flash drive,my pencils,pens,and other stuff.."amazing"..Second,I received a cheque from the loan thing and I thought it will be a good news but unfortunately,there's some problem about my name on the cheque,so I have to send it back on Monday and God knows when I'll get it back..but I hope as soon as possible..Third,about my student ID,it's a new one but I could take it because I didn't submit the ID form that I don't even remember if someone told me to give it to the administration...I really hope nothing bad will happen anymore..On the good side,I did quite well on the acting yesterday.. :)...and also,I have done my presentation,quizzes and one of my test,though I'm not really satisfied with it....The day after tomorrow,I will have another test,so I'm not going home tomorrow,too bad...Oh,I totally forgot one other thing.Do you remember the girl that I mentioned in 'My Diary:Life as a College Student (8)',one of my girl friend?You see,yesterday,she has a problem with her friends who also my friends and she was hungry last night and wanted to have a dinner with her friends and me but her friends was sleeping and refuse to go,so I kindly accompanied her,since I was hungry too...The thing is,today,she was ok again with her friends and I was asking her when will they go out for dinner,she said at 8 but I was starving and it was about 6.30(almost as the same time as we went out yesterday),so I said I'm going for a dinner now and just said ok.I mean,I don't really mind and I'm not really surprise but I thought she would say "yeah,I'll accompany you,"..but I guess maybe she wasn't hungry...so,this will be my second reason for me to be isolated,like I was a few weeks ago...

19.4.2013
I'm still at my hostel although it's Friday.. :O...because tomorrow morning I have a test.."great"...wish me luck!....About the ID thing,I already took care of it but I will get my new ID next semester...Yesterday,I had this feelings,I don't think it was sadness but it's more of anger because I stupidly didn't continue being quite and isolated...but from now on,I will be,since I have two reasons...

THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY:LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (9)

8.4.2013

This week is a busy week for me and my classmates.I have 2 quizzes tomorrow,a presentation,which I have to act(though it’s kinda exciting)on Wednesday and I have a report to do...”amazing”..OMG!!something surprising happened.You see,my plan was that I want to know the time table for my next semester and see if it’s not too crowded,I don’t want to stay in the hostel,I want to travel from my house to college because I still don’t feel comfortable staying here.So,I thought that my plan is a good plan but I just found out this afternoon that we have to decide whether to stay at the hostel or not before this Friday.. “awesome”... :O...it’s crazy!!!...I really don’t know what to decide...I wasn’t suppose to think about it now,right??This was suppose to be happen next month or so,right??...I really hate this...

9.4.2013

Argh!!!!!I hate this!! I started being talkative again..I hate not just because I’m afraid of acting sissy but it’s just sometimes I might say things hurtful,though not on purpose..I think I’m gonna be quite again,although my friend might think I’m a psycho but at least I won’t say something that I will regret...

10.4.2013

I started to feel comfortable... :O....I’m worry that I might get bad again....Well,the decision have been made...I will stay at the hostel for next semester.... “wuppie”..I will pay for the deposit tomorrow....Good news,I’m going back home tomorrow evening...yea!...because my Friday’s class was cancelled... J...I did the acting thing but unfortunately,I didn’t do so well...but luckily our lecturer is nice,so she gave us all a second chance to do better next week..wish me luck!...I was suppose to go home today and come back here tomorrow since 2 of my classes was cancelled too but I was helping my friends with their assignment and then it was raining heavily and I don’t have a transportation... “amazing”..I really can’t wait for tomorrow...

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY:LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (8)

2.4.2013
Remember when I said I wanna lay low?Well,actually it's not really working because the "spotlight" is already on me since I'm one of the 'A' student in my class...but I'm still trying and I do appreciate the attention,just that,you know how I will behave if I'm being too comfortable...I wanted to be a wallflower,though it sounds crazy but I think I'm better like that...BTW,about me being tease at school for acting like a sissy,I never told my family because I don't want them to worry about me,I know they'll freak out if I tell them and they will find those people who called me 'sissy' and stuff...so,that's why I keep it as secret from my family but my best friends know about it,obviously......

4.4.2013
I'm pretty sure that being lay low,isn't working because the attention is still on me and I've started to talk more again...I tried to lay low but my surroundings doesn't let me...Tomorrow I'll be going home for the weekend by commuter but not alone this time,I'll be with one of my girl friends(the one that I mentioned in My Diary:Life As A College Student 1)..I'm thinking about telling her why I acted strange a couple of weeks ago but I don't know if it's the right thing to do.I'm worry that if I told her how I behaved in school,she might see me differently,but maybe not in a bad way...I really don't know...BTW,there's a lot of things about myself that my friends here don't know,like they don't know I like cooking,playing guitar,drawing,write novels and few others...I know all of you must be wondering why I didn't tell them,it is because I just wanna keep it to myself,so that they won't ask me questions or something ,hence,the "spotlight" won't be on me,though it's already is but at least if I don't tell them about my hobby,the attention won't be too much on me...

THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY:LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (7)

19.3.2013
Sorry for not updating anything for a long time because I was busy with my mid term tests last 2 weeks and I had a terrible fever.I was travelling back and to college from home everyday that week.And last week was my mid term break and I was recovering from my illness,so I was resting and not doing anything(not really) the entire week but I took a chance to meet with A since he's in on holiday too and I think he still is.We had fun watching movie,'Jack The Giant Slayer',that movie was amazing!...We really had fun,I told him everything about what happened in my life now and all the problems that I have to face...it was great,I wish I could meet him again...

20.3.2013
There's 2 things that I told A that I wanna do here,at my college or hostel.I did the first one,just now,which is to cry my eyes out and to let my sadness out,though I'm not so sure if it's all out...but I still haven't get the chance to do the second one,which is to speak in English with my friends.I'm not trying to brag or anything,just that me and my best friends always speak in English to each other,so I wanna do the same here but I don't really have the guts to do it.I told my lecturer about it and she said I should just try...so maybe I will..wish me luck!...about me crying thing,don't tell anyone,ok?... 

25.3.2013
I watched 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' yesterday and it hit me,makes me realize how I had behave here in college when I feel too comfortable.You see,when I was in school,I acted kinda like a sissy(not on purpose) and because of that people always tease me.I hate myself or acting the way I did,so I plan not to behave the same way but I'm worry that I might acted sissy when I'm too comfortable without realizing it,though so far not one tease me of being sissy...the thing is,I kinda trying to be alone and not feeling too comfortable but my girl friends think that I'm mad at them.I want to tell them the truth but I'm afraid they might not understand,so I really don't know what to do....

THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY:LIFE AS A COLLEGE STUDENT (6)

25.2.2013
I'm back to college.. "amazing"...There's something I wanna tell you all,something that make me feel kinda guilty.You see,everyone in my college knows my name,Zac,so a few of my guy friends,started calling me Zac Efron,especially when they found out I like to play basketball...but the thing is,I never said or admit that I like and adore Zac Efron..I mean,I didn't say I hate him but I also didn't say I adore him...so I feel like I'm lying to myself.The reason why I don't say anything is because I'm afraid that they might think I'm being ridiculous for using the name of the person I adore....I know for some people like myself and my best friends would totally understand but people here are kinda short minded...just saying...so,do you think what I did was a good thing or should I just admit that I do adore Zac Efron??.. *sigh*

26.2.2013
OMG!....I did something that make me feel so guilty(again)...I cheated on my quiz!!! :O...I've never did something like that before...but it wasn't just me,my friends ans a lot others(I'm sure) also cheated...but for me,it's a huge deal...I feel so,so guilty....about that Zac Efron thing,they keep calling me Zac Efron and somehow,try to make me admit that I adore him...though it's true,I can't admit that to them,they'll laugh at me because they are short-minded person...There's 2 thing I wanna tell you all.First,I brought my laptop to college because I have a presentation to do tomorrow..but sadly,there's not internet connection in my room,so if I wanna online,I have to go to the lobby... "amazing"....I don't really know why but I feel like I wish my laptop is at home,so that i would feel excited when I'm going back home(other than to meet my family)...strange,right??I'm also worry that someone might stole my laptop(hopefully not),that's why I don't tell everyone that I brought my laptop...Second thing is,I think I might have a fever..but I hope it won't get any worse..

28.2.2013
I felt like an ass yesterday because my friend told me that her friend(who is also my friend)said I'm different that who I was a month ago and that differences is not really a good thing because yesterday I was like mad at them for like the whole time.I don't know if I realize it or not but it was horrible.I said sorry to my friend but not yet to the others but they didn't seem to hold a grudge on me...I felt terrible for what I did...and what hit me the most is when she said(nicely) "Is this who you really are?"..I was speechless...but I know that's not who I am..I'm not trying to make an excuse but the reason that I was grumpy,could be because of my sore throat(I get moody every time I have it) and a small part(maybe) of anger towards them for meeting me late for an hour the day before yesterday,one of them said that they want to do the discussion at 11.30 am but they met me at 12.30 pm..(but I didn't say that I was mad at them)...so maybe that's the reason and also maybe because of my fever...I don't know but everything is fine now..just that I'm trying to pull myself slightly away from them,so that I won't "lose control" again....

THANKS,
ZAC