MY DIARY (173)

1.12.2012

A called me late last night.He was worried about me with the whole problem thing.He told me a huge news too about the registration and the news is that I might not be able to apply to a government college next year.That news really made me reconsider my decision because my choice was to apply for it.Honestly,it makes me feels off,I’m not mad at him for telling me about it,it just made me hard to fall asleep last night....My dad told me that if I take the offer,we have to come up with about RM1500,including the payment and stuff.Since that I don’t have any savings(ridiculous,I know),I know my family will find a way to get it but I don’t want to and with the vacation thing,they gonna need that money....but I don’t wanna give that as a main reason because the real reason is,I’m not ready.....I’ve already told 1 of my sister and of course A about my final decision,which is not to take it because I looked at other government college application,doesn’t state that I couldn’t apply again next year..both of them was ok with my choice and A told me about other college and now I’m talking to his sister on Facebook to ask about her college...Thanks A for your advice and information!! J you’re my best friend.....A told her sister about my college...are you kidding me??!!...Ok,now I can focus on my vacation next week.. J...Hopefully nothing will happen that can ruin my happiness...

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (172)

30.11.2012

I tried to call the college and ask if I could postpone or defer it for a while until I’m ready and about the payment.They did answer but when they transfer my call to the registration department,no on pick it up.So, I called again but then,no one answer...what an asshole!!How can they not pick up the phone??!!What if it’s important??!!WTF!!!...My dad wants me to take it(I think)and he said if I couldn’t postpone it,he said I should register on the 10^th of December because he said it’s a shame to turn it down...I really don’t know what to do...I’ve called them again and the payment is about RM800++ which I have to pay on the 10^th of December and if  I want to postpone it until next intake,I have to reapply next year....I’ve talked to my dad and 2 of my sisters,again and they all said the same thing,the decision is up to me,though my sis did say something  about being ready and they also said I could discuss it with my other sisters....but I think I’ll pass because they’re gonna say the same thing and I’m not sure if they understand me.....I have made my decision and I already told my family.They look as if they’re ok with it,they didn’t look as if they disagree but I think they support my decision...Fiuh,glad that’s over,I’m feeling much better.... J...I’m not gonna tell  you what my decision is,yet but I will tell you on my next update....

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (171)

29.11.2012

I’m still not as cheerful as I thought I would be...too bad...I got a text from one of the college that I applied and I got accepted but I have to start my class this December and I must send a kinda like agreement letter 7 days after the date of the offer,which is tomorrow...Ok,maybe it’s my mistake for not checking it before and I thought I would never get accepted after I failed the first time I checked and I was planning to apply again but I was waiting for teh opening day...Now I don’t know what to do....I’ve checked and I have to register on 9^th or 10^th of December.....I’ve talked to my sisters and they gave me a few opinion but still,the decision is in my hand and right now,I don’t know what to choose...so yeah,I have a decision to make....My sisters asked me to watch ‘Twilight Saga:Breaking Dawn Part 2’ with them tonight but I refused,I told them that I’m just tired but the truth is,I don’t think I could focus watching that movie when I have a huge decision to make.....Right now,I’m a little bit confuse because at first,my sister acted like I should take the offer but then,my other sister asked me if I’m ready to take the course and just now,I think they think I want it but I looked stress because it’s too soon and I was worry about the finance or something,when the truth is,I kinda decide to not take it because it’s too rushing and I don’t think I’m ready but maybe it’s a silly thing to do and I don’t wanna let my family down....so,I’m really,really confuse and stressfull.... :(

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (170)

28.11.2012

My mood today is not very good,a bit melodramatic because I was just thinking about,you know,how lonely a person could be(referring to myself),I mean,I don’t mind being alone,though I have my best friends and my family,but not being able to say what you’re feeling,is sucks sometimes.I know I could share it but they(my best friends and my family)won’t understand,no one can understand everything and besides,I don’t wanna burden them with my problem,they have their own problems.Ok,now back to my feelings,it’s hard sometimes to decide or solve your problem by yourself and it sad when you couldn’t share your happiness simply because  they don’t understand or they just not interested to hear about it or you just couldn’t because you’re afraid of what people might respond.I know I’ve said that God’s with me but somehow we want someone who sit right in front of us,listening,hold our hands,look in to our eyes and  say “Good for you,” or “Everything’s going to be ok,”,someone who is not just there when  we’re happy but also a shoulder to cry on,literally...someone we can cry with....I don’t know if I ever going to find that person.I know A’s going to say “You can share it with me!”,but like I said,I can’t share it with them,maybe not with anyone at all,except to write it here,on Blog Around The Corner....You know what,sometimes I get jealous with my sisters and my brothers because they could share their feelings with their friends or sometimes to me but I couldn’t do the same to them....it’s not far for me but again,maybe it’s my fault,I choose not to share,right??..but I’m glad that somehow I could sort of share it here,thought no respond from anyone... J...but I’m happy I can let it out... J..and don’t worry,if nothing bad happen to me,you might see me as a cheerful person again...Oh,BTW,I’m gonna have a hair cut tomorrow,I asked my sister to do it...so,wish me luck...

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (169)

27.11.2012

My family plan to have a vacation next month but unfortunately,maybe not the entire family because a few of my family members have a job to do...I will update to you about my vacation....I was sort of busy these past few days,busy with my novel,I’m half way to finish it....but besides that,it’s because I slept late and woke up late but today I manage to get up early because I slept early yesterday... J...I didn’t even practice my guitar,hopefully I coud do it today.....BTW,I found out that Blog Around The Corner have 5000+ pageviews...YEA!! but I also realized that it was viewed,quite a lot,from Malaysia,kinda creeps me out because some of that people might be the people that I talk write about in here... :O..hopefully not...

THANKS,

ZAC