MY DIARY (171)

29.11.2012

I’m still not as cheerful as I thought I would be...too bad...I got a text from one of the college that I applied and I got accepted but I have to start my class this December and I must send a kinda like agreement letter 7 days after the date of the offer,which is tomorrow...Ok,maybe it’s my mistake for not checking it before and I thought I would never get accepted after I failed the first time I checked and I was planning to apply again but I was waiting for teh opening day...Now I don’t know what to do....I’ve checked and I have to register on 9^th or 10^th of December.....I’ve talked to my sisters and they gave me a few opinion but still,the decision is in my hand and right now,I don’t know what to choose...so yeah,I have a decision to make....My sisters asked me to watch ‘Twilight Saga:Breaking Dawn Part 2’ with them tonight but I refused,I told them that I’m just tired but the truth is,I don’t think I could focus watching that movie when I have a huge decision to make.....Right now,I’m a little bit confuse because at first,my sister acted like I should take the offer but then,my other sister asked me if I’m ready to take the course and just now,I think they think I want it but I looked stress because it’s too soon and I was worry about the finance or something,when the truth is,I kinda decide to not take it because it’s too rushing and I don’t think I’m ready but maybe it’s a silly thing to do and I don’t wanna let my family down....so,I’m really,really confuse and stressfull.... :(

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (170)

28.11.2012

My mood today is not very good,a bit melodramatic because I was just thinking about,you know,how lonely a person could be(referring to myself),I mean,I don’t mind being alone,though I have my best friends and my family,but not being able to say what you’re feeling,is sucks sometimes.I know I could share it but they(my best friends and my family)won’t understand,no one can understand everything and besides,I don’t wanna burden them with my problem,they have their own problems.Ok,now back to my feelings,it’s hard sometimes to decide or solve your problem by yourself and it sad when you couldn’t share your happiness simply because  they don’t understand or they just not interested to hear about it or you just couldn’t because you’re afraid of what people might respond.I know I’ve said that God’s with me but somehow we want someone who sit right in front of us,listening,hold our hands,look in to our eyes and  say “Good for you,” or “Everything’s going to be ok,”,someone who is not just there when  we’re happy but also a shoulder to cry on,literally...someone we can cry with....I don’t know if I ever going to find that person.I know A’s going to say “You can share it with me!”,but like I said,I can’t share it with them,maybe not with anyone at all,except to write it here,on Blog Around The Corner....You know what,sometimes I get jealous with my sisters and my brothers because they could share their feelings with their friends or sometimes to me but I couldn’t do the same to them....it’s not far for me but again,maybe it’s my fault,I choose not to share,right??..but I’m glad that somehow I could sort of share it here,thought no respond from anyone... J...but I’m happy I can let it out... J..and don’t worry,if nothing bad happen to me,you might see me as a cheerful person again...Oh,BTW,I’m gonna have a hair cut tomorrow,I asked my sister to do it...so,wish me luck...

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (169)

27.11.2012

My family plan to have a vacation next month but unfortunately,maybe not the entire family because a few of my family members have a job to do...I will update to you about my vacation....I was sort of busy these past few days,busy with my novel,I’m half way to finish it....but besides that,it’s because I slept late and woke up late but today I manage to get up early because I slept early yesterday... J...I didn’t even practice my guitar,hopefully I coud do it today.....BTW,I found out that Blog Around The Corner have 5000+ pageviews...YEA!! but I also realized that it was viewed,quite a lot,from Malaysia,kinda creeps me out because some of that people might be the people that I talk write about in here... :O..hopefully not...

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (168)

22.11.2012
Today we'll be helding the 'Tahlil',there's a few more things to clean up.I hope everything will went well...I'm kinda happy today because something shocking happened to me this morning when I opened my Twitter,a celebrity followed me,how amazing is that??....it's really a great news for me... :)...I can't believe it,it really blew my mind... :)...The ceremony went well,we(my family)had a great time and I hope our prayer will be accepted by God.. :)

23.11.2012
Today is my mom's birthday,so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM..though I don't really know her,well,more like I didn't get the chance to know her but I know I'll miss her forever...I love you mom!!...I hope you're in a better place... :)

THANKS,
ZAC

IGNORE

I was thinking about G last night.We haven't text each other for weeks.Maybe she's busy with work and I don't wanna disturb her and you know my situation with her..So,the thing is,I just don't want her to think that I'm ignoring her because that would be the last thing I wanna do to people....unless I hate them..LOL..because I know how it feels to be ignored,especially by those who we thought would be there for us,would help us out somehow and the one who would make us smile,sometimes for no reason.I understand the feelings when you say hi to them and hoping that they would reply even just by saying hi back,would already make us feel happy but then you find out that they didn't reply to you and make you feel as if you're invisible.And after that,you're wondering weither you have done something or said something wrong to them and that question is going to be stuck in your head all the time...but for me,eventually,I managed to forget about them and make a conclusion that no matter what I did or how nice I am trying to be to them,they would still ignores me and now,I just pretend that they are strangers,someone who I bumped for a few times..but I hope that's not how G thinks about me,though maybe wwe'll never be together but I hope somehow we could be friends...For those people who about to ignore someone,I suggest you think about it again and for those who have ignored others,I think you should at least give an explanation for your act but if you have done it to a person for too long,I'm afraid it'll be too late because maybe that person has erased you from their life.And for those whose being ignores by others,I suggest you do the same as I did...

THANKS,
ZAC