MY DIARY (171)

29.11.2012

I’m still not as cheerful as I thought I would be...too bad...I got a text from one of the college that I applied and I got accepted but I have to start my class this December and I must send a kinda like agreement letter 7 days after the date of the offer,which is tomorrow...Ok,maybe it’s my mistake for not checking it before and I thought I would never get accepted after I failed the first time I checked and I was planning to apply again but I was waiting for teh opening day...Now I don’t know what to do....I’ve checked and I have to register on 9^th or 10^th of December.....I’ve talked to my sisters and they gave me a few opinion but still,the decision is in my hand and right now,I don’t know what to choose...so yeah,I have a decision to make....My sisters asked me to watch ‘Twilight Saga:Breaking Dawn Part 2’ with them tonight but I refused,I told them that I’m just tired but the truth is,I don’t think I could focus watching that movie when I have a huge decision to make.....Right now,I’m a little bit confuse because at first,my sister acted like I should take the offer but then,my other sister asked me if I’m ready to take the course and just now,I think they think I want it but I looked stress because it’s too soon and I was worry about the finance or something,when the truth is,I kinda decide to not take it because it’s too rushing and I don’t think I’m ready but maybe it’s a silly thing to do and I don’t wanna let my family down....so,I’m really,really confuse and stressfull.... :(

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (170)

28.11.2012

My mood today is not very good,a bit melodramatic because I was just thinking about,you know,how lonely a person could be(referring to myself),I mean,I don’t mind being alone,though I have my best friends and my family,but not being able to say what you’re feeling,is sucks sometimes.I know I could share it but they(my best friends and my family)won’t understand,no one can understand everything and besides,I don’t wanna burden them with my problem,they have their own problems.Ok,now back to my feelings,it’s hard sometimes to decide or solve your problem by yourself and it sad when you couldn’t share your happiness simply because  they don’t understand or they just not interested to hear about it or you just couldn’t because you’re afraid of what people might respond.I know I’ve said that God’s with me but somehow we want someone who sit right in front of us,listening,hold our hands,look in to our eyes and  say “Good for you,” or “Everything’s going to be ok,”,someone who is not just there when  we’re happy but also a shoulder to cry on,literally...someone we can cry with....I don’t know if I ever going to find that person.I know A’s going to say “You can share it with me!”,but like I said,I can’t share it with them,maybe not with anyone at all,except to write it here,on Blog Around The Corner....You know what,sometimes I get jealous with my sisters and my brothers because they could share their feelings with their friends or sometimes to me but I couldn’t do the same to them....it’s not far for me but again,maybe it’s my fault,I choose not to share,right??..but I’m glad that somehow I could sort of share it here,thought no respond from anyone... J...but I’m happy I can let it out... J..and don’t worry,if nothing bad happen to me,you might see me as a cheerful person again...Oh,BTW,I’m gonna have a hair cut tomorrow,I asked my sister to do it...so,wish me luck...

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (169)

27.11.2012

My family plan to have a vacation next month but unfortunately,maybe not the entire family because a few of my family members have a job to do...I will update to you about my vacation....I was sort of busy these past few days,busy with my novel,I’m half way to finish it....but besides that,it’s because I slept late and woke up late but today I manage to get up early because I slept early yesterday... J...I didn’t even practice my guitar,hopefully I coud do it today.....BTW,I found out that Blog Around The Corner have 5000+ pageviews...YEA!! but I also realized that it was viewed,quite a lot,from Malaysia,kinda creeps me out because some of that people might be the people that I talk write about in here... :O..hopefully not...

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (168)

22.11.2012
Today we'll be helding the 'Tahlil',there's a few more things to clean up.I hope everything will went well...I'm kinda happy today because something shocking happened to me this morning when I opened my Twitter,a celebrity followed me,how amazing is that??....it's really a great news for me... :)...I can't believe it,it really blew my mind... :)...The ceremony went well,we(my family)had a great time and I hope our prayer will be accepted by God.. :)

23.11.2012
Today is my mom's birthday,so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM..though I don't really know her,well,more like I didn't get the chance to know her but I know I'll miss her forever...I love you mom!!...I hope you're in a better place... :)

THANKS,
ZAC

IGNORE

I was thinking about G last night.We haven't text each other for weeks.Maybe she's busy with work and I don't wanna disturb her and you know my situation with her..So,the thing is,I just don't want her to think that I'm ignoring her because that would be the last thing I wanna do to people....unless I hate them..LOL..because I know how it feels to be ignored,especially by those who we thought would be there for us,would help us out somehow and the one who would make us smile,sometimes for no reason.I understand the feelings when you say hi to them and hoping that they would reply even just by saying hi back,would already make us feel happy but then you find out that they didn't reply to you and make you feel as if you're invisible.And after that,you're wondering weither you have done something or said something wrong to them and that question is going to be stuck in your head all the time...but for me,eventually,I managed to forget about them and make a conclusion that no matter what I did or how nice I am trying to be to them,they would still ignores me and now,I just pretend that they are strangers,someone who I bumped for a few times..but I hope that's not how G thinks about me,though maybe wwe'll never be together but I hope somehow we could be friends...For those people who about to ignore someone,I suggest you think about it again and for those who have ignored others,I think you should at least give an explanation for your act but if you have done it to a person for too long,I'm afraid it'll be too late because maybe that person has erased you from their life.And for those whose being ignores by others,I suggest you do the same as I did...

THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY (167)

21.11.2012
I think I'm having a fever but I hope not because right now,I'm feeling a bit tired and my body feels hot....Tomorrow my family will make a ceremony for my mom.It's a ceremony where we pray to God for her(we call it 'Tahlil') and wish that she's in a better place.The reason we do it tomorrow,is because this Friday is my mom's birthday.It's just a small ceremony,just our family.So,this afternoon I cleaned up my house,a part of it...Tonight,I feel a lot better,maybe my fever is gone,thank God...

THANK,
ZAC

MY DIARY (166)

17.11.2012
Today is A's birthday,so HAPPY BIRTHDAY A!!!!...I'm getting better,I mean happier... :) ..Yesterday,I was being friendly and said hi(through Facebook) to the girl that I mentioned in 'My Diary (118)' and she replied and we talked and then she asked me if I remember her and I said no but then,she told me what name people call her,there were a few and one of it hit me because I called her that name and then I remember that we had a study group or something together in primary school but that is all I remember about her,I wish I could remember more.Then we talked some more.....Today,I talked with A on Facebook and on phone.A told me something great about what happened to him but I'm not gonna write it here,it's too personal for him....but I'm happy for him.. :) ..I miss spending time with A and S but maybe we will again soon... :)

18.11.2012
I'm practicing with my guitar for almost everyday lately and actually I'm getting better.. :P ..I think I'm happier from day to day..... :) ...On our way to a wedding,just now,my dad remind me(accidentally) about the highway incident(in 'My Diary (162)') because there was a car that look kinda the same...so,I was sort of turn off because of it and I was quite for a while but then at the wedding,there was like a "red carpet" moment because I met someone from my high school who said hi to me first :P and then,after that,I find a solution on how to not being too grumpy or too quite or bother about the incident,is to think happy thoughts and today I sort of manage to do it but the happy thought is not the "red carpet" thing,it was something else... :)

THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY (165)

15.11.2012
This morning,something great happened,someone replied my tweet! :) .....and it makes me realized that I'm not really alone,God is with me and granted my wish....I really,really grateful for it... :) ...So far,everything's ok,though I'm still not very talkative,I don't know why.....Tonight,when me and my sister was going to pick my other sister from work,which isn't so far away ffrom my housr(we went ther walking) and on the way,there was this black colored dog,running towards us and it tried to attack us.. :O..luckily we brought an umbrella and there was 2 of us.We finally managed to drove it away and fortunately,my brother went and pick up my sister at work because we didn't do it after what happened and in addition,there were a few more dogs next to my sister's work place....though it was scary but it's quite funny experience for me...LOL

THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY (164)

14.11.2012
Maybe the reason why God haven't or didn't give me someone special or someone who understand me,simply because God knows I can somehow sooth myself,somehow find a way to make myself happy again,alone but strong..God knows though I have no one to talk to,no one who understands my feeling,no one who help calm myself but I will somehow manage to do it myself..like right now,I feel better than yesterday(so far)....I hope everything will be much better..so wish me luck...

THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY (163)

13.11.2012
I was kinda quite today,most of the time....my sisters think that I might be mad at them.I wanna tell them that I'm not mad at them,I'm mad at myself but I'm afraid they might not understand,so I just leave it that way.I'm still kinda "haunted" by what I did yesterday.I can't believe that I did that rude thing,I really wish I could turn back time....I was thinking about going back to being talkative,just to make things clear to my family,I mean that I'm not mad at them but maybe I'll sort of limit my words,try not to talk too much,so that I won't make a lot of mistakes...Hope everything will be ok.....Right now,I really wish I have someone to talk to,someone who really understand my feelings but someone who isn't my family,someone I can talk about anything....unfortunately I haven't found one... :(

THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY (162)

11.11.2012

I can’t wait to watch MTV Europe Music Awards tomorrow morning at 4 a.m....I slept this late afternoon for a couple of hours,hopefully I won’t get sleepy tomight... J..Two of sisters are kinda involve in show biz.One worked as an intern at a production company and already have a tv show that credit her name on screen....congrats to her..and the other one,sort of like a personal assistant for a celebrity but it’s not very official and she said she don’t really want to because she said she doesn’t really like that guy(the celeb) but I think she likes him... :P ..well,it’s good for her actually.....When I hear they talk about their work and celebrities,well I’m lying if I say I don’t get jealous,I do,kinda but it’s ok for me because most of the celebrities they met,isn’t really my favourite.Maybe if I am jealous,it could be because they might be popular but it also makes me determine to finish and hopefully published my novel...wish me luck... :)

12.11.2012

You know,the word “I’m here for you no matter what”,for me,means a lot.Either I say it or someone say it to me..I don’t remember if I ever said that to people and I don’t recall if anyone ever said that to me either...but it’s ok,maybe when the time comes,I will hear it from someone.. J ..I know A is gonna read this and he might say it the next time we meet but I hope he won’t because I know he’ll do it because he read my blog....and besides,I know he’ll help me out even though he didn’t say it... J....Something happened,you see,my sister,my dad and I was trapped in a traffic jam.We were on the right lane and suddenly,there was this 4 Wheel Drive tried to cut the line in front of us and they were so close to our car until we almost hit each other but my sister didn’t let them and then I did something crazy.I showed my middle finger..they honked at us and then cut us on the right side of the road and honked again and shout at us but I respond with a stare,they were furious but I’m not scared because they started it...the reason I’m telling you this isn’t because I wanna brag about it,I just wanna share because honestly,I’m not proud of what I did,I shouldn’t do it.That’s not who I am,I’m not a brown nose or a gangster.And one other thing that’s on my head is my decision to be quite again because from my point of view,the more I talk,the more mistakes I make...So,right now,I’m not in a very good mood....

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (161)

7.11.2012

I finally changed my blog’s title.I really hope you all like it because I do..LOL..I don’t know why but I have this very strange feeling.It’s not the same as the one I had before,this time is totally different but I don’t know what it is...but it’s not a bad feeling,I think it’s a good one.I don’t know exactly what it is,it’s kinda like excitement or maybe nervous or something....it’s really strange...

9.11.2012

I went shopping with my sisters today,though I didn’t buy anything and not just because I’m broke but also because I left my wallet at home..how “amazing”.....I just found out something crazy.My sister and I’m pretty sure most of the girls out there,they force their feet to fit in a shoe.... :O ..how shocking was that??I mean,they don’t mind that it hurts as long as it’s beautiful...WTH.. :O....BTW,all the time I was there,I was like “I’m gonna find a job,I’m gonna find a job so that I can shop,”... LOL

10.11.2012

My sister plan to go for a vacation next month but it still not confirm....She asked me to look for a place to stay,like I did when we were going to Cameron Highlands....I don’t wanna say much,since that I’m not working yet and my family are the one who’s gonna pay for everything...LOL..

THANKS,

ZAC

MY DIARY (160)

5.11.2012
I slept at 6 a.m. this morning and woke up at noon because I was online... :O..I'm planning to change my blog's title today....You know what,something strange happened to me,not like scary strange but feeling strange.The feeling that I feel after 6 hours of online,a feeling like I think some people said,"I just met you but I feel like I know you",it's weird,right???...but when I woke up and think about it and still have a little bit of the feeling,I kinda like it,not that I hate it before,I was just surprise because I never felt it before....BTW,I just want to tell that I was quite busy yesterday because I went to 2 events.First was a wedding,which I have to get dress in like 20 minutes and second was a small concert/carnival which I had 30 minutes to get dress,it was adrenaline rush...LOL...I am definitely getting better,thank God.... :)

6.11.2012
It's been raining everyday and almost the entire time....I'm sorry for haven't change the title yet,I was kinda hesitated because maybe I'm afraid of what people might think or maybe they'll get confuse...but I think I'll change it today.....BTW,I got a letter from Google yesterday,saying that they can promote my business blog,they gave me a voucher for if I give them RM50 for the promotion,they'll change it to RM200...I thought about it for a while but then I decided to not do it because no one bought my clothes before,so why would they want to buy it now?and besides,I don't even have RM50,I'm unemployed and broke....LOL..

THANKS,
ZAC

NEW NAME!!!!!!!!

I PRESENT TO YOU THE NEW NAME OF MY BLOG....

'BLOG AROUND THE CORNER'....

I REALLY HOPE YOU'LL LIKE IT!!!!!!

MY DIARY (159)

2.11.2012
Happy November!!..Since yesterday,I must say,that I'm kinda happier and sort of better,though I was quite the whole time,when I went out for lunch with my sisters....but I think I'm getting better... :)

THANKS,
ZAC

CHANGE 'MY BLOG'???

I was thinking about changing my blog's name because the name 'My Blog' is too common and hard to find mine in Google..ok,maybe because it's not so popular but it's also there are too many blog with title 'My Blog'.So I decided to change and I already have an idea but I hope everyone will agree with it and maybe I'll change it in a few days...wish me luck..

THANKS,
ZAC

MY DIARY (158)

31.10.2012
I didn't get any "sign" yet but I think I might keep it...but we'll see.....I kinda feel that I should let it go because we can't have everything we want,though it breaks my heart but I think it's the best thing to do... :( ....It's raining almost the entire day,I don't know if it's a sign.....It's 12 a.m. and I've finally made my decision and I choose to,this is not easy for me.Right now,it takes time for me to write this...but I gotta tell you that I will keep my secret,I'm not letting it go.I know this means I'm keeping the sad part too and I've been through it today and I will have to do it again at some point but I'll take the risk because these also means that I got to keep the good part... :) ..and besides,I'm being myself again,well,it still in the process...

THANKS,
ZAC